What is HSP Coaching?
HSP’s represent under 20% of the population, so we’re rare. Males and females are equally likely to be HSP’s. Many of us work our tails off to fit into a society that is not built for the way we’re wired. Most of us are able to make the shift but at a great personal cost. And some of you are struggling to find your way in a foreign world. As a male HSP myself, a psychotherapist and coach for 33 years, I know the challenges you face.
In coaching you will begin to understand yourself better, accept who you are and how you’re built, identify areas of vulnerability and have an action-plan for how to deal with those. You will learn to celebrate how you’re built, no longer feeling like an alien or “less than” in the company of friends, family or co-workers. You’ll learn how to develop your special abilities and increase your awareness of when to utilize those abilities and when not to.
A Little About My Story as an HSP
I was a highly sensitive person from the day I came out of the womb. I grew up in a conservative farm town in northeastern Indiana, in a poor family and had a traditional upbringing. My father’s way of dealing with my sensitivity was to have slap boxing sessions with me. He’d hit me, I would cry and he’d hit me harder, until I got angry and struck back. It was okay for a young boy (or man) to feel angry, but I wasn’t allowed to have softer feelings.
As an HSP or highly sensitive person I would pick up on other people’s energy, feelings, issues and intentions. I didn’t know why this was happening, but from my youngest memories this was an ability I had. I would become overwhelmed in crowds or family gatherings, and then be criticized for not taking part. On long car rides my parents would constantly ask me what was wrong and why I was so quiet.
Being authentic was not a safe experience for me as a child. I was an outside the box thinker and enjoyed living in my fantasy world, reading adventure books and thinking about things on a level that was not normal compared to the average child. I felt my feelings intensely, whether they were feelings of joy or despair. As a grade-school child I was thinking about things like the meaning of life and if I watched a terrible news story it would impact me for days.
… there’s much more to my story. Maybe you’ll get a chance to hear more. It’s a story of redemption, coming home to myself and embracing the many ways I was created.
Five Pillars of HSP Coaching
- Awareness
There are several unique types of HSP. The highly sensitive person first needs to learn about what an HSP is, and how they fit with the characteristics of an HSP. Prior to the late 90’s there was no label for what we are. Elaine Aron was the first person to do research and publish works on the qualities and traits that make up an HSP.
- Acceptance
Many highly sensitive individuals end up in therapy with anxiety or depression. The irony is that HSP’s really don’t need therapy, they need self-acceptance. In therapy, HSP’s often work hard to change the way they’re built. In my approach, we take a look at all the unique parts of yourself that you’ve rejected, alienated and tried to cast aside.. The parts you feel like are “bad,” make you “weak” or that are “unsafe” to show in the world.
And then, with safety, trust and invitation you have the opportunity to bring each part back into yourself… a genuine homecoming for you!
- Celebration
Once you have awareness and a deeper acceptance of who you are the celebration can begin! You will start to feel proud for who you are, your self-esteem will mushroom and you’ll stop apologizing so much for your sensitivities.
You’ll have the opportunity to model authenticity, while taking new risks with friends, family and co-workers. You will experience relief from anxiety and depression. You will have new ways of handling situations that used to baffle you..
- Distress Tolerance Training
This component is vital for long-term success. HSPers are highly sensitive and get overwhelmed by things like noises, work meetings, raising kids, crowds, feedback from their partner or a boss, how their socks feel on their feet, and much more.
We all have a certain amount of tolerance to stress. HSP individuals tend to have less of a tolerance and can quickly shut down, feel ashamed or become angry. This reaction often prevents us from doing the right thing in the moment as a parent, as a partner, as a friend or in a work meeting.
I will help you identify your areas of vulnerability, your struggles and how to implement proven strategies to increase your level of tolerance for uncomfortable situations. When you increase your level of tolerance you will become more patient, understanding and you’ll experience more success in relationships.
- Future Planning
Once all four of the previous pillars have been worked through, many highly sensitive persons find that they naturally begin to re-evaluate their lives. Some HSP ‘s decide that their work environment is not conducive to how they are built and they either change vocation or work towards a different role at work.
Others discover a renewed energy to parent differently and want to work on that. HSPers often start to identify friends, family or acquaintances who are toxic and learn to set new boundaries or eliminate some people from their lives.
HSPers who were non-functional prior to coaching will feel like the world has opened up to them to explore and discover new passions, hobbies and interests.
What Is The Time Commitment and Fees?
We usually start weekly to learn and grow through the Five Pillars. Part of that is up to you and we will decide together what the best frequency is for your HSP coaching. The average number of sessions for most highly sensitive persons is 12.
The fee for an intake session is $200. All subsequent sessions are $150 each. I also periodically run an HSP Coaching Group. These groups run for 12 weeks each and cost $80 per 90-minute group.
How To Get Started
There are three ways for you to begin the process. You can call directly at 317-865-1674 and let the person know that you’d like to start HSP Coaching with Dave Shields. You can text us by clicking on the button below or you can fill out the form at the bottom of this page.
ASK US A QUESTION or TEXT US
Please use the form below to send us any Coaching questions you may have. Also, text us any time at (317) 559-7325 or use the blue "Ask Your Coaching Question" tab, located in the bottom left of this page.